Q: What did the envelope say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we’ll go places.
Q: What 8 letter word has one letter in it?
Q: What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
A: Fang mail.
Q: Why did the witch have such difficulty writing letters?
A: Because she’d never learnt to spell properly.
Q: What do snakes write at the bottom of their letters?
A: With love and hisses.
Q: What does an envelope say when you lick it?
A: Nothing, it just shuts up.
Q: How does a ghost start a letter?
A: Tomb it may concern.
Crazy Aunt Maud received a letter one morning, and upon reading it burst into floods of tears.
“What’s the matter?” asked her companion.
“Oh dear,” sobbed Auntie, “It’s my favourite nephew. He’s got three feet.”
“Three feet?,” exclaimed her friend. “Surely that’s not possible?”
“Well,” said Auntie, “his mother’s just written to tell me he’s grown another foot!”
Q: Where does Dracula get his letters from?
A: His fang club.
Q: Where do ghosts mail their letters?
A: The Ghost Office.
Q: Where do you post letters to boys?
A: In a mail (male) box.
Q: When is a letter damp?
A: When the postage is due (dew).